(About a 24-minute read. This is a migration and updated post. It was initially shared on the FUNdoing.com Blog. We have moved theoretical posts to OnTeamBuilding to organize content.)
The What? & Why? Series is my attempt to document some of the things I think about when programming and leading teambuilding activities. This learning tool is an example of one way to think about leading this particular activity, providing the why underlines some of the purpose behind my choices. Things to ponder.
Have You Ever...stood in a circle with 50 middle school students playing Have You Ever…?
I'm guessing most of you know this classic, "Have You Ever...?" icebreaker activity (Rohnke, 1988 & 2004) - I'm sure it's been played by millions! Here’s a review. (Of course, skip this part if you don’t need it.) Our group, of 12 to 50 players, form a circle. Each player is standing on a game spot. We (the facilitator) start by standing with the group, part of the circle, so everyone has a spot for a while, as we explain and then play the game with the group. Now we’re going to say something true for us, something we’ve done/experienced. We preface this information with, "Have you ever..." For example, you might say, "Have you ever been to Canada?" (Again, the statement must be true for us.) If anyone in the group (players forming the circle) has been to Canada, they are invited (but not required) to leave their spot and move to another spot that is not directly to their right or left. While this movement is happening everyone wants to go stand on one of the spots left vacant by another player in the circle – during the first three or four rounds there will always be a spot open in the circle – the facilitator is sharing the Have You Ever…? (HYE?) questions to model the process. On the fourth or fifth round, we move our spot to the middle of the circle as described below – we start this new process by asking another HYE? question. When there is a spot in the middle there will be a player left without a spot to stand on within the circle (because, in this game, there is no sharing spots). The player who gets the center spot, is the next person to share a HYE? question from the center of the circle. The moving, getting a spot process ensues after every, HYE? question from the player standing in the middle of the circle. If the player in the middle shares a, HYE? question, and no one moves, they take a bow and ask another question. Remembering the idea is to get players to move - asking questions that are likely to produce movement is a good strategic play (that is, of course, the player wants to get out of the middle). NOTE: Believe it or not, the step-by-step process detailed below takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to lead. It's a lot of writing for 15 minutes, and an interesting process (for me) to go through. Okay, let's get this one started:
What?
(This section describes one way I lead Have You Ever...? What I say and do.)
Why?
(This section is about the Why of what I did throughout the activity. The numbered comments below match up with the numbers from the What?) 1. I like to have participants help me whenever I can - it's a nice social skill to practice (and it saves me time as well). By clumping together, I can hand out five or six game spots to several participants near me so they can also help me hand out spots - or pass along the spots after taking one for themselves. Being together in a "clump" saves us steps and time in the long run. Another option is to set down the game spots in a circle formation before your participants arrive. In my experience, setting up a circle of spots by myself takes more time than getting help. 2. When everyone has a game spot I collect the extras, and then together we form our circle. Doing this together might become our first "problem-solving" activity! I might give a visual image suggestion, like, "We want to form a circle, like a big pizza, or a basketball." Then, I'll ask my group, "Do you like the shape of this circle, or do we want to change it? What do we need to do to change it?" After asking these questions I listen to how participants are communicating with each other - is it positive, constructive, negative, sarcastic, useful? If some coaching is required, I will add some thoughts while we're getting circlized. I also make sure to praise the useful behaviors and positive feedback participants are engaging in and sharing - I'm starting the norming process with the group. I too am working on forming the circle with my group, because I am also standing on a game spot as part of the circle (remember, this version of, "Have you ever..." does not start with someone in the middle of the circle). For this game of "Have you ever..." (HYE?), I think the circle formation works the best. I've tried HYE? in a square, a triangle, and scattered formations (that was interesting). The circle is best for hearing the HYE? questions and a circle provides more space for moving from one spot to another (again, in my experience). (BTW: Playing HYE?, just as an ice breaker, is really interesting from a scattered formation, but it increases the level of risk. So, if you are norming for safety with your group scattered HYE? might be an option so you can talk about it.) 3. In this step, I'm frontloading the idea of choice. Even though we will be discovering things about each other - some similarities and differences - my main facilitated objective is to emphasize the concept of choice and how choice fits into the program we are in together. Some participants might recognize the game once I share the part about saying, "Have you ever..." When participants speak up, sharing they've played before, I often say, "That's great. In a moment you will be able to help me out since you have some experience with this one. For the moment you might notice some differences in the way I play, so please go along with me on this version and have some fun." I use the example of, "...eaten a slice of pepperoni pizza" because I'm pretty sure there are a few people in the group who have done so. I'm choosing to use an example of something that more than a few people have done so I can get some movement when we try. Now, depending on where you are in the world, you might use a different example. If I use something too unique, like, "Have you ever swam with dolphins?" I might not get any movement during my test run - and I want movement for the example. 4. I come back to the idea of choice at this point. I present choice as an invitation - an invitation to move off of their spots or not if they have done the Have you ever...? I know I picked up the idea of choice as an invitation from someone in my past, but I don't remember who. So, thank you - whoever you are! I suppose being "invited" could be seen as someone with power opening the door for others with less power - and an argument to explore at some point. For me, I like being invited. It shows me I'm being recognized, and seen by others. "Chris, I'd like to invite you to my party!" Thanks! I'll be there." It's an opening, a way of thinking that can work for a lot of people. During discussions with more groups than I can remember, participants have told me that they liked the idea of being invited - they felt included and part of the group. 5. By now I want my participants to lock in the directions with practice. I use the example, "Have you ever eaten a slice of pepperoni pizza?" because they've already been thinking about it. It's not something new at this point - in educational thinking, I'm (sort of) reviewing. Participants already thought about my question, and they've probably answered it, in their heads at least. Now, we're moving (literally) to the next part of the learning process. We're adding something to what we know. We've also heard the directions, now we're putting them into action. 6. I choose to move with the pepperoni pizza eaters at this point, and I also keep an eye on the movement of others. Most participants will recognize that they don't have to move quickly because there is a spot for everyone (at this point). However, some energetic players (e.g., younger participants) might choose to move quickly, so I'm watching for safety issues. Now, as the facilitator, you can choose to frontload the practice step by reminding participants they don't have to run - "there is a spot for everyone." If you think your group needs this information, let um have it. By leaving out the safety frontload I get the chance to observe my groups participate in some natural behaviors. They might already have a good sense of how to behave safely - I might not need to bring it up (just yet). After we are all back on our spots, I can ask the question about choices. (This is where we can talk about "safety" choices if they were observed.) During this first bought of choice recognition, I don't push too much. I like to get into more action before digging deeper. So, here I just ask five or six times, "What choices did you have the opportunity to make?" I don't share any of my observations and choice options I know about at this time - I want to give my group the first opportunity to share what they observed and practiced. However, there is one exception. If I observed any safety issues, we will open this discussion and create some norms (rules) for moving (literally) forward. I will often add, at this point, that one of my roles as a facilitator is to monitor safety issues and help the group develop norms and behaviors around safety concerns. 7. We need to move again. Asking my participants if they have participated in a teambuilding program before is one of my favorite questions. It usually (these days) produces lots of movement and it lets me find out if there are those in the group who have not been in a teambuilding program before - I observe this information in the next step. Again, I'm observing my groups for behaviors (e.g., safety) that may need to be addressed right away. In most cases, I stay on my spot so I can watch the movement. If someone (and this happens quite a bit for me) brings up the fact that I didn't move and asks, "You haven't been in a teambuilding program before? (they are ALWAYS watching us!) I share my choice to stay on my spot so I could observe the group in action (another role I have as a facilitator that I might share with my group at this time). In educational terms, I am modeling choice. 8. After this second practice, I add some new information and action. As a way to now recognize others, we have something in common with. I ask participants to raise a hand if they moved to a new spot. Now, we can look around the circle (again, the best formation to see everyone), to see who has been in a teambuilding program before and who has not. We can also see that we have a difference among us - some have, and some have not. (This is where I might find out who is teambuilding for the first time. Why is this important? I might change my language a bit or define more of the terms I use with my participants. This thinking is another topic we can get into at some point.) And, I do like to invite participants to put their hands down when we're done looking around to avoid any discomfort and confusion about when it's time (okay) to put their hands down. ("Have you ever..." been in one of those situations where you weren't sure, then you just put your hand down because others were putting their hands down? Doing what others are doing because you don't know what to do....now that's something to talk about!) 9. Okay. We're now getting the idea, so I want to prepare my participants for a change coming up. I let them know that, after I ask one more "Have you ever..." question, I will be inviting them to ask the questions. In this way, I'm giving participants a heads-up, and some time to think about something they might want to ask. Even though they'll be listening and possibly moving around, they will have some time to think. In educational terms this is called an anticipatory set - I'm setting up my group for something about to happen. Something they can anticipate. The next new thing will not be new - they "knew" it was on the way. This prepares the brain for some action. Along with my next question, there is a chance that I might be the only one who has done the "Have you ever..." (If you've played "Have you ever..." you know that if you ask a question, it must be true for you. I have not shared this rule yet - but it's on the way.) If I don't see anyone else making a move from a spot, I will take one step into the middle and take a bow. Then, step back onto my spot. (Again, another "rule" - invitation - I have yet to share, but it's on the way.) More often than not, since I'm taking a bow, participants will clap for me - it's a pretty common cultural norm. I didn't set up the bow-clap process yet, but if I have the opportunity to demonstrate it, I take it. Again, depending on the question I ask, there will be more, less, or no movement at all. 10. If there was some movement, I ask the movers to raise a hand. Then we all look around to see who we have something in common with. Again, this action is about providing an opportunity to recognize others. If I have a hand up, I recognize that I have something in common with others who have their hand up. I also recognize there are others I might not have something in common with - there are differences in the group. The participants who did not move, and do not have a hand up, can also assume that they have something in common with others in the group - the non-movers. Now, since there is a chance that one or more of the non-movers could have moved but chose not to, I like to make a short point about assumptions. "We can assume we have something in common with others through observation, but how do we know for sure?" This will often produce comments about "talking" to each other, asking questions, and listening. This, more often than not, is part of a teambuilding program - getting to know each other beyond observations and assumptions. 11. After the movement stops, I invite participants to ask a "Have you ever..." question. But, before they start, I share the information (rules) about how the play will continue - the questions have to be something they've done and if no one moves after a question, the asker is invited to step into the circle and take a bow, at which point we will all clap. I also like to add the option of simply waving as well - stepping into the circle and bowing might not be comfortable for everyone. Again, I like to provide choices when possible and give permission to make choices they are comfortable with. The reason I let someone else ask a question after a bow or wave is to save time. In my experience, if I let the same person ask another question, they often have to take time to think of something new, whereas others in the group might already be prepared to ask a question. Depending on my group, I might give the "Rated G" guideline here as well. "Please share 'Have you ever...' questions suitable for a G-rated movie audience." This will often produce some laughter because they know what you're talking about. This is a choice I do take away. Another role I have as a facilitator is to help create an emotionally safe learning environment. If I let my group make choices that make others uncomfortable and unwilling to open up and connect with the group, the learning environment will be altered. This can be tricky, but important to consider. We (us facilitators) are challenged to provide learning experiences that help groups move forward together as a community, not hinder the process. "Guiding" the process with appropriate activities and purposeful language is our responsibility. 12. Okay. Here I ask for someone in the group to share a question and I remind them about the context of the question - it must be something they've done. Some groups I work with naturally raise hands (it is a norm they've adopted) and I'll pick by pointing at them. In other groups, someone will simply speak up before someone else. Depending on your group, you might need to set up the guideline (rule) that you will pick someone who has a hand up - you might need to structure the sharing (you might want to establish this communication norm). This could be a norm that you want to manage or let the group manage. Will they set up the structure or do they want/need you to set it up? A facilitated objective I have at this point is to move "control" of some of the processes to the group - get them talking and interacting as soon as possible. (Note: By this time in the game, we are only about 4 minutes in! Yeah, lots of words and thinking in 4 minutes!) And, even if I could move to a new spot on some of their questions, I usually stay on my spot and watch the interaction in the game. I'm looking for "things" to talk about - things I need to talk about (e.g., safety issues), and things I would like them to recognize (e.g., group behaviors) that I can bring up in a processing discussion. Purposeful observation leads me to more appropriate questions. (Another good blog topic to explore at some point.) 13. When everyone is back on a spot and I notice (I can see and hear) the group may be ready to give me their attention, I ask the players that moved to raise a hand. Then I ask everyone to look around. Again, this time (space) is provided for participants to look around and see others in the group they (may) have something in common with. During these first few movements and the "raise-the-hand" request, I'll point out that those people with hands up are sharing something about themselves and we can assume that they all have something in common (e.g., they've all eaten a slice of pepperoni pizza, or have been part of a teambuilding program before). The participants who did not raise a hand may or may not share something in common (e.g., they didn't do what the asker did), because they could have chosen not to move even if they could have. "As we move forward together in the program, we'll find out more about each other through talking and taking on tasks and challenges." After the first two or three reminders, to look around, I will leave it up to the participants to process the information on their own - we just get into the game and raise a hand if we move. 14. Overall, I have about six participants share a, Have you ever... question to get some good movement and interaction and to notice some commonalities. I don't go on too long at this level because I want to change it up a bit and get back to talking about and experiencing, choice. 15. Before changing the dynamics of the activity I take some time with the group to explore the choices that were made during the last several rounds. It's easy, at this point, to take in a few responses and move on. I like to stick with this "choice thinking" for a while. The first five or six responses are usually easy to come up with, then when it goes quiet (that, quiet discomfort) we often just move right on to the next part of our process. I like the discomfort. In this discomfort, we are also making choices. "Should I say something?" "This is boring, let's move on?" "Oh, maybe there is more we are not seeing. I wonder. Let me think. What else is there?" I believe there is a skill development process that can be experienced and practiced when in quiet discomfort. What skills can we practice? Patience? Cognitive engagement? Managing frustration? Participation? Respect? I believe providing more time to think about more possibilities to one question there is more time to practice community-building behaviors. And providing more time also gets us to deeper thinking and more answers - answers that are often more interesting than our first reactions. During this discussion, I also ask my group what choices they "didn't" make. It's wording that stimulates a different way of thinking. Yes, we can frame choice answers in the positive (so to speak). For example, "I chose to be quiet during the game so I could concentrate more on finding a spot." This could also be worded in this way, "I chose not to talk during the game so I could..." I found this option ("I chose not to...") helps me when I'm working with people (especially young people) working on specific behavior changes. Here is my favorite (true) example, "I chose not to make fun of someone when I felt the urge during the game because I knew I wanted to work on this." Another, very common one I've heard several times is, "I chose not to run to a spot because I know I might hurt someone if I ran into them." Again, it seems some brains are wired to see what was "not" done as opposed to what "was" done. Now, do we direct skill development towards "I chose to..." and away from "I chose not to..."? I don't know if it matters. We'll have to propose this question to others more qualified to answer (e.g., mental health professionals). If you have an idea, please share!! 16. After I point out the fact that everyone had a spot around the circle during the first round of questions, I make the physical move to the center with my spot to show everyone things are about to change. Now, I could simply stay on my spot as part of the circle and explain what is going to happen. It is arguable that by staying as part of the circle I will be able to see everyone while I’m talking – my back will not be turned to anyone in the circle. However, I believe this physical change provides some visual preparation for the change. (And I use a nice loud voice, turn often, and repeat the directions at least a couple of times to get the change across.) 17. By simply moving into the center of the circle there are usually a handful of participants that can figure out what’s ahead. And, by changing the game configuration participants are starting to prepare themselves for something to change. If I sense some strong reactions to this physical change, I might take a brief moment (before I provide details about the change) to check in with my group to find out what emotions are surfacing. Some people have physiological reactions to change that are challenging to manage. “I was comfortable, now I have to do something new. I’d rather stay where I’m comfortable.” This is an example of one type of comment made several times in my experience. Even playing a (seemingly) simple game, change aversion can come up for people. So, I keep myself mindful of reactions during my move to the middle. When I sense I can provide the group with new information I share the change in the game. During the directs to the change, I do say that the person in the center is, “…obligated to ask a, Have you ever… question.” This can be interpreted as not having a choice in the matter. But do they? There is often an assumption of a consequence without checking. I love it when participants ask about the “obligation” when left in the center. “Well, what choices do you have? Do you have to move?” On more than one occasion, I’ve been involved in a conversation about obligation. Even though a participant does not want to be caught in the middle (they don’t want to be “on the spot”), they still feel obligated to move if the question is true for them. The ensuing behaviors related to avoiding getting caught in the middle tend to be on the assertive side and have caused uncomfortable emotions, reactions, and even consequences. Again, so much can happen in a “simple” game if one pays attention. And, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time to share insights, feelings, and feedback. 18. Before playing the new version of, Have you ever… we take some time to look at the changes ahead and possible choices we have moving forward. Again, what we’ll be choosing to do and what might we choose NOT to do? I also slip in some possible norming behaviors, “How do we want to play during this part?” There are usually some warnings related to increased movement (speed) that might show up and suggestions as to what behaviors might be considered during play. I don’t push this question too much; I just like to introduce the idea of considering how we want to BE together. I will continue with norming discussions later if it’s within the scope of the program goals. 19. Now we get into the new version of the game. After each question, we raise our hands and recognize similarities. I also choose to stay on my spot (for the most part) and observe the behaviors of my group in play. (What’s that quote? You can learn more about people in an hour of play than a day of conversation – something like that.) First and foremost, I’m looking for safety concerns and I address this right away. I will push safety-related norms if needed and hold my group to these norms. I’m also looking and listening for (and at) the behaviors I see and hear. I want to start getting a picture of the individuals in the group and the group as a whole. How are they playing together? Are players exhibiting more individual (selfish) behaviors or group (thinking of others) behaviors? Are players asking for help? Are players talkative or quiet? These observations, prompts, and behavior data will help me adjust the activities ahead (if needed) and help me frame questions during processing sessions that are related to what’s happening (as opposed to being related to program objectives that might not be relevant to the group at the time). 20. I wove the issue about safety concerns above – if I see something, I say something. There have been times when I explored the choices made around unsafe behavior. Excitement and high-energy individuals often “blame” the context of the game for their behaviors – “Well, you didn’t say we couldn’t run.” “I didn’t want to lose (i.e., be in the middle), so I made every effort to get to a spot.” Lots of great opportunities to discuss group interaction, behaviors, and norms. And why certain behaviors are more acceptable within a group than others. 21. After about six to eight questions from participants, I stop the activity to readdress our choices one more time. During this third round of choice thinking, I often hear more insightful responses. The group has practice and experience with the question. They are ready to add more to their answers – and expand their thinking. At this point, I will also share some of the observations I made related to choices being made if the participants do not bring up what I’m thinking about. I do like to check in with participants (in general) about what I saw. Like, “Why do you think some players chose to move quickly to an open spot? Did anyone notice this?” “Why do you think some players offered help during the game and others did not? What helpful behaviors did you notice during the game?” “Why might it be difficult for someone to come up with a, Have you ever… question when they ended up in the middle? What would this be like for you if this happened?” My general approach is meant to build some empathy for some of the behaviors we might see within a group and to open the door to developing some norms around how we want to be together. It’s an opportunity to recognize what’s going on, even if everyone does not see what is going on. Playing and observing are difficult to do at the same time – a good reason to have a facilitator in the group. 22. At this point I want to frontload some of the possible experiences ahead. If (and more often than not) there are participants who have been in teambuilding programs before, I ask them what choices they’ve made in the past during similar programs – I like to get them talking first. Then, I can add to the conversation with some of my experiences. Again, in educational terms, I’m providing an anticipatory set – things people will (or might be) faced with in everyday life. Maybe I’m planting seeds? Maybe I’m “setting” the group (and participants) up for a predetermined outcome? As I see it, with the time I have, it’s a way for me to get closer to desired outcomes. If you have more time (e.g., working with students over the school year), you can do less frontloading and provide more exploration and discovery. Letting my group know there will be lots of choices ahead is the intent of this final look at choice. 23. My caveat – my philosophy about choice (developed during my work with “at-risk” youth populations). I am partially responsible (my participants share in this responsibility) for my group's wellbeing. I need to know where everyone is at all times. Yes, at ALL TIMES. The choice to “disappear” is not an option for my participants. Now, if I relinquish my responsibility to another responsible party (e.g., a teacher or chaperone with the group), then the participant (or participants) is no longer my responsibility. So, I share my expectations about this choice right away. As you see it’s worded that someone can step away from the group when needed (and it can be needed), but I need to have everyone in my sights. And I word it as “helping me” with this. Most of us are very willing to help someone when asked respectfully and with reason. There might be some questions about this and even pushback on not having the choice to walk away, out of sight. But I respectfully make it clear that, as in life, there are often limits to our choices. 24. Now we need the rally cry. I want to ignite a little energy to move forward. I’m always excited to get into the program after a good foundation and understanding (hopefully) of the choices ahead. As we move forward together, choice-thinking conversations continue since we’ve laid the groundwork for thinking about choice on purpose.
As you can see, a lot of thinking can go into one simple activity. My purpose here, again, is to simply share (in a long-form way), what I do and why I do it – just one way to approach group interactions. Maybe, just maybe, it's a good idea, from time to time, to look at our 'why' so we don't lose track of our purpose.
I'd love to get your thoughts. Leave us a Comment. All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D.
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(About a 12-minute read – and lots of exploring when you have the time.)
My OnTeamBuilding year-end post is inspired by Matt Mullenweg (with a heads up from Tim Farriss) who shares “What’s in My Bag, 2023” – his travel tech and personal comforts. Matt is a founding developer of WordPress.
This is the teambuilding gear (kit) I used for most of my programs in 2023. I worked out of my onsite housing in Ohio, programming with this equipment, then putting the kit on my back and walking out the door to programs (sometimes a quick car trip to our second site). During the last part of the year this kit stayed in my car traveling with me to the handful of programs I did in Colorado. Karl Rohnke often recommended to his training groups (I witnessed this more than a dozen times), “Find ten good [teambuilding] activities that you can use with any group and you’re good to go.” Early on in my career I didn’t buy into this idea – I loved my 100+ list of activities I curated over the years. However, year after year I’m finding myself programming with fewer activities – I’ve found activities I can adjust for almost any group to practice the most popular ‘concepts’ (outcomes) requested by them (e.g., teamwork, leadership, trust, collaboration and problem-solving). To be fully transparent, I have at least 20 activities at the top of my ‘versatile’ list currently. Maybe it will get to ten at some point.
One final piece of transparency. The gear in my kit can cover about 80% of what I program with up to 24 participants of middle school age and older. I still love the ‘one-off’ activities that help me spice things up or the ones that are ‘perfect’ for the program outcomes. After the numbered list, I’ve added some of my favorite gear off the shelf.
This gear works for me at this time. Sixteen pounds of ‘stuff’ (actual weight) can go a long way done the teambuilding road! What gear works for your top 20? Let us know in the Comments. Our 2024 kits might include some changes!
This list includes links to gear resources and some activities found on the FUNdoing and OnTeamBuilding blog sites. Let me know if you have any questions. (Please let me know if a link is broken. I've checked them all, but you never know. Thanks.)
1. Eagle Creek Cargo Hauler 60L. Updated look, still the same size and features – my favorites: U-shaped zipper opening to main compartment, two end compartments, and removable backpack straps. 2. Two 50-foot activity ropes. Use for boundary lines and activities like Rope Shapes and Group Jump. 3. Activity Spots (in a zipper bag). I use ‘Shelf Cabinet Liner’ cut into 12 by 12-inch circles or squares – light weight and non-skid. (FYI: I learned in my 50s, ‘spots’ don’t have to be round! Life is short, cut squares.) I also carry six vinal spots I picked up years ago. They are made from scrap vinyl awning material (gifted to me by Jim Cain). There are times when I need a different color to signify specific places in an activity, for example, Corner-to-Corner (One of my Top 20 found in Portable Teambuilding Activities) or the ‘Question’ spot in Have You Ever. Any ‘other’ colored spot works – there are a few Shelf Liner colors to choose from. 4. Qwirkle Pieces or Cards This is a ‘one-off’ the shelf that stayed in my kit all year. The square game pieces are my favorite for What’s Missing? and I use the Qwirkle Rummy cards (HERE at Mindware) with the ‘dots’ if there is color-blind diversity in the group. What’s Missing is a great communication, mental model activity I use with almost every program to warm up the problem-solving parts of the brain. 5. Trango Rope Tarp from REI. Protects my gear from the dirt and rain. When I take stuff out of my kit to prep for use, I love a good tarp. And when it start to rain I can quickly cover up the gear for short-term protection. 6. 24 Buddy Ropes, each 5-feet long, ¼-inch diameter from Atwood Rope. For years I carried around 5-foot lengths of P-Cord (and I still do in my light-weight kit), but when I found this ¼-inch rope I switched. It’s a bit bulkier, but the feel of it for activity use and for knot tying is worth it. (NOTE: I did invest in a hot knife to cut rope since I cut a lot of rope. P-Cord is easier to cut by hand and burn with a lighter. The ¼-inch rope takes more time to cut and burn by hand.) Lots to do with Buddy Ropes, especially teaching knots – don’t forget that learning a new skill is all about problem-solving. Add Buddy Ropes to the Human Knot with larger groups and to ‘open’ things up a bit. Then try Objectable Human Knot for an advanced challenge. 7. Tossables – I carry 10 soft lightweight tossables for all sorts of activities. Every Other Group Juggle was my favorite variation in 2023 (the post includes links to other Group Juggles). Years ago, I was able to find the red, yellow, and green tossables (HERE) to use for the Traffic Light Colors (a.k.a., Stop 'N Go from Brain Brolin) norm-setting and processing activities. 8. Image Cards – I carry Chiji Cards and Climer Cards (I’m excited to add the Climer Cards 2 deck in 2024). Most of the activities I lead with image cards come from The Chiji Guidebook. The new ones I’ve developed over the years can be found at the FUNdoing Blog – just search Image Cards. Some favorites: That Person Over There Stories and Image Perspectives highlighting diversity. 9. Webbing (Raccoon) Circles – I carry four 15-foot lengths of 1-inch tubular webbing. The Revised Book of Raccoon Circles is my go-to collection. Grand Prix Racing is a fun energizer to open an engaging session with webbing circles. Check out Jim Cain’s free Raccoon Circle Handout for a great collection of activities. 10. Noisy Rubber Chicken – What is a teambuilding kit without a noisy toy of some kind. And, as I was told when I first started in this field, “You gotta have a rubber chicken!” I mainly use it as a Group Juggle addition, it gets some good reactions. The chicken also serves as a group ‘mascot’ from time to time. It’s something the group is responsible for. And it does add some ‘Fun Factor’ to the adventures. I found my small RC at the Scheels in Colorado Springs (they have a ‘jumbo’ size online). 11. CrowdWord Cards – I like the versatility of large letter tiles. I was a big fan of Jumbo Bananagrams for years, but we can’t get them any longer. Thank goodness for CrowdWords. There are 26 activities in the manual, Doing A lot with a Little (at the link) and lots of ‘letter tile’ ideas at FUNdoing (search Jumbo Bananagrams and CrowdWords). Here are two of my favorites: Word Building and Take Two. NOTE: I have one of the original CrowdWord sets, unlaminated. They are now laminated. 12. Index Cards and Markers – Lots to do with index cards and markers. I carry about 12 'Flip Chart' markers and a pack of 100 four-color index cards and about 50 white index cards. With just about every program I facilitate, I have my participants make ‘Name Cards.’ I can use them as activity props and I can use them to practice names after I collect them post-activity. One of my Top 20 is Name Card Exchange (this is a long-form post if you’re interested in a deep dive). Then there is Jim Cain's book Teambuilding with Index Cards I pull from. 13. Numbered Spots – I carry three sets of numbered spots, from 1 to 25, in three different colors. Search ‘Livestock Tags’ for a variety of sizes and shapes. They are a bit pricey, but I’ve had them now for over 20 years, so they have earned their place in all my kits. I like programming Key Punch with multiple groups playing at the same time (a Top 20 activity for me). I use the two ropes and three webbings tied together to make three boundary areas for the ‘keys’ and one webbing for the starting line. I use Key Pad Express and Thread the Needle with smaller groups and combine the numbered spots with cups for Cup Switch found in Cup It Up. (See Tube Switch for the original version). 14. Jumbo Playing Cards – Probably the most versatile prop in the teambuilding world. The best collection of activities is in Playing with a Full Deck by Michelle Cummings. And this year I was reintroduced to Michelle's Stack the Deck cards – a combination of standard playing cards on one side and Ice Breaker Questions, Debriefing Images and the activity '52 Card Pick Up' on the other side of the cards. This will be my 'playing card' deck of choice for 2024. Here are some go-tos from the FUNdoing blog: Pressure Play Too, Quad Team Flip and Find (new in 2023), and Quadistictions (along with Chiji Cards). Search 'Playing Cards' and the FUNdoing Blog for more. 15. Weatherproof Notebook and ‘Space’ Pen – A few years ago I made this weatherproof notebook and ‘space’ pen part of my kit. I went through too many instances where the ‘old’ paper pocket spiral notebook and Bic pen failed me. After the change, never a problem. I like to jot notes about group observations, quick game Tweaks, and questions I want to ask the group. Sometimes I’ll need to diagram something for a visual aid (e.g., a five-pointed star). I also take self-reflection and (if I’m working with one) facilitation-team notes about programs. Caveat: I write out my program activity sequence on large index cards for quick access. I record my final program sequence in my Programs folder on my computer. I do this to save room in my weatherproof notebook for ‘in time’ information (these notebooks are an investment). And the 'Space' pen? Worth every penny. It's compact design fits nicely in any pocket and it just writes ALL THE TIME, in any weather. Invest in a spare ink cartridge right away since it's not possible to see when the ink is getting low. Search: ‘Rite in the Rain Journal’ and ‘Space Pen’ for purchase site options. 16: We! Connect Cards – This is another 'one off' the shelf, but they are just the best, compact set of icebreaker question cards I’ve ever used. So, I keep them with me. (Transparency: I keep my kit WE Cards in a zipper pouch without the box. The box was just better for the picture.) And Chad Littlefield's stuff is just GOOD! I plan to add Chad's We! Engage Cards to my kit in 2024 for something new to explore. 17: Large Cow Bell – You know what they say, “You can never get enough Cow Bell!” (In truth, you actually can get enough.) I use my bell to get my group’s attention. I combine this ‘noise’ with a few other attention-getters to save my voice over a long program day. Again, I don’t use it all the time because it can be irritating when overutilized (a great metaphor to work with!) Search ‘Livestock Bell’ for lots of choices. Here are several resources I used on a regular basis in 2023 for the other 20% of my programming:
And thank you for all the important work you did in 2023. Keep it going, we need it more than ever. I wish you all the best in 2024! Keep me posted…. Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 
(About a 12-minute read and a few minutes for the Practice session.)
I’ve been working on editing activity descriptions for an organization's database. Each activity includes some “possible reflection questions.” Anyone familiar with asking educationally-minded questions would see both closed-ended and open-ended questions in the mix.
Over the years, my perspective on these two forms of questioning has been molded into the belief that one is not better than the other (contrary to some of the training philosophies I’ve been exposed to throughout my career). It comes down to purpose. When you plan for using a questioning method and it works, it serves, well, the purpose. If unsuccessful, you consider (reflect upon) how you could use the method better or what could serve you better next time and try that. As Maya Angelou tells us, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” Working through the database of activities I’ve been adjusting some of the reflection questions to (in my experience and opinion) open up more/deeper conversations. I started saving some examples of the changes I was making to share my thinking with other educationally-minded questioners like you. Before we get to the examples, I want to share some information about closed-ended and open-ended questioning. Personally, I want to reemphasize, that one form is not better than the other. These two methods are tools. And, like literal tools, each has specialized (intended) applications. I flat head screwdriver turns, in or out, flat-slotted screws. A hammer is intended to hammer in or take out nails. Yes, both can be used to do other things but were initially designed for a particular purpose. Just like questioning. For some additional perspective, I asked ChatGPT (another tool with an intended purpose): What would you tell someone who wanted to know the value of both closed-ended questioning and open-ended questioning? Here are a few replies that support our exploration (use my prompt to see all the responses):
Both closed-ended and open-ended questioning have their own merits and are valuable in different contexts.
Closed-Ended Questioning
Open-Ended Questioning
Balancing the Two
Here are some question examples I saved under a few categories – each explained below. The final ‘Practice’ category is for you to reshape the questions in order to open up some deeper conversations (on purpose).
Closed-ended adjusted to Open-ended Question These are examples of adjustments I made to closed-ended questions – I would use the open-ended questions to get the same information with more conversation. C: Did anything surprise you about this activity? O: What surprised you during the activity? C: Was it difficult to remember the names of the opposing team? O: What makes it difficult to remember people’s names? C: Does this activity remind you of anything in your everyday life? O: What things in your everyday life does this activity remind you of? C: Did everyone make it to their final destination? O: What did it take from everyone to make it to your destination safely? C: What was your reaction when we switched to a new tangle of rope? O: When you found out you had to untangle someone else’s knot, what came to mind for you? C: How would it feel to constantly be cleaning up someone else’s mess? O: What are some of the choices we can make when we find someone else’s mess? Which one of these choices is common for you? Which one of these choices would be your preference? C: Did you ever help a person in need of a ship? [A place to stand safely.] O: Think about this first before answering – did you see someone in need? What did you do about it? Where do you believe you picked up this trait? Why do you use this trait? C: Think about how the group communicated during the activity. Do you see any connections to communication trends on your team? O: Think about how your team communicated during the activity. What connections do you see to the communication that takes place in your everyday lives? C: How important was empathy in this activity? O: What is your understanding of empathy? How does empathy fit into an activity like this? (What did it look like, or sound like during the activity? What are some other ways we could have been more empathetic? What does empathy look like in some of your other teams?) C: What behaviours did you notice going on during the activity? O: Describe some of the things people were doing during the activity that made you uncomfortable. What were people doing to make you feel comfortable? C: How important was trust in this activity? Who did you have to trust? O: In what ways did you have to trust your partner? What did you do to maintain the trust with your partner? What did you do to diminish trust with your partner? What commitment can you make with the whole group to build trust? C: How did it feel to be holding a lower-value card? O: When you had a pretty good idea about the value of your card, what conversation were you having in your head? [Self-talk objective.] C: How did you get into your groups? O: What did it take from everyone to get into your smaller groups?
Closed & Why?
It’s common to follow up closed-ended questions with an open “Why?” Here are some adjustments to using an open question right off the bat. C: Is it easy or hard to talk about how you’re feeling? Why? O: What are the things that make it easy for us to talk about our emotions? What are the things that make it challenging for us to talk about our emotions? C: Did your thinking change throughout the activity? Why? O: How did your thinking have to change in order to achieve the goal? C: Were you worried about slowing the group down when the hoop came to you? Why or why not? O: What concerns did you have during the activity? Where do you believe these concerns come from? C: Did your process change at all? Why? O: What changes took place during your transition from one side of the tarp to the other? In your opinion, why did these changes occur? C: Are there things you would change about the way you treat other people? Why? O: From this point on, what would you like to change about the way you treat others? C: Did anything change in how you communicated? Why? O: In what ways did your communication change during the activity? What caused these changes?
Closed with Follow-up to Open
Use closed-ended questions to “gather data” and then follow up with an open question to dive deeper. C to O: What were some feelings you experienced during this activity? How did any of these feelings influence your participation in the challenge? C to O: Did you feel uncomfortable at any time during the activity? What did you do about it? What are some other ways we can respond when we’re feeling uncomfortable? C to O: Raise your hand if this was your first experience with a Lycra Tube. When we’re trying something for the first time, what do we want to keep in mind? C to O: How were you being treated during the mingle? What did you do about it? What would you like to do about it in the future? C to O: What were some feelings you experienced during this activity? How did any of these feelings influence your participation in the challenge?
Open to Closed
How about flipping the script? Start with an open-ended question, then finish with a closed to emphasize a final position. C: Was your group successful? O to C: How did you all define ‘success’ for this activity? Based on this definition, were you successful? C: Were everyone’s ideas heard? O to C: Describe the process you had for sharing ideas. Were everyone’s ideas heard? How do you know? O: How did the group agree to try an idea? O to C: Describe how the group agreed to try an idea. Is this the way you want to continue making decisions? How would you like to make decisions in the future? C: Did anyone feel left out? O: What feelings did you experience during the different rounds? Were the feelings the same for each round or did they change? What influenced the change?
Practice Questions
How would you adjust each closed-ended question below to dive a little deeper?
There are many ways to form and use questions in educational settings. Have a purpose. Reflect on the efficacy. Keep doing what works for you, change it up if needed. When we know better, we can do better. Keep doing the good work out there. We need you! Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 
(About a 20-minute read. This is a migration and updated post. It was initially shared at the FUNdoing.com Blog. We are moving theoretical posts to OnTeamBuilding to organize content.)
The What? & Why? Series is my attempt to document some of the things I think about when programming and leading teambuilding activities. This learning tool is an example of one way to think about leading this particular activity, providing the why underlines some of the purpose behind my choices. Things to ponder.
Across Toss is a true mash up of influences. Mainly, All Catch (detailed in the footnote below) from Karl Rohnke's, The Bottomless Bag (1988), Falling Star, in my book, Portable Teambuilding Activities (inspired by another Rohnke activity called 7-Up), the phrase (and philosophy) "Keep your agreements!" from my friend West and the way I use the activity (I call) Have You Seen My Lunch, playing it the way it was described to me by Scott Goldsmith (author of Experiential Activities for Enhancing Emotional Intelligence) when he uses it to talk about agreements - how we make, keep and break them. My initial attempt at Across Toss was with a group of 6th & 7th graders. I wanted to weave in the idea of making agreements (as a way to develop some norms together), understanding agreements, keeping agreements, and sharing voice or 'speaking up' as I framed it. (There can also be some work on how we manage and treat mistakes within the group, but this was a secondary focus for me.) In this What? & Why? format, I'll break down the activity step-by-step (What?) and then tell you my thinking behind each step (Why?). Reality Check: In real time, I spent about 15 minutes on this Across Toss of the 90-minute team building activity portion of the program. After the team building three more hours were spent on the high course where 'making agreements' carried over to enhance the learning points - mainly, making and keeping agreements. Have you ever considered how much (thinking, decision-making, choice) goes into facilitating a 15-minute activity? Here's what it's like for me at least: What? (This section is about What I did, and will generally do, when leading Across Toss with Agreements.) 1. I have a game spot and two safe tossables for each participant ready to go. (My tossables were stress balls, a squeaky penguin and some inflatable orbs a little bigger than a softball.) 2. I gave everyone a game spot and asked them to circle up - about a one-arm distance apart from each other - and then instructed them to stand on their spot. 3. There were eight participants in the group, including me (I played as well). I chose to start with three tossables. I handed out the tossables to three different people. 4. I frontloaded the activity with this information: "This activity is about making agreements with your group members. For example, one will be with the person who agrees to catch the object you have to toss - when you have an object to toss. Another one I'm going to ask you to make is to agree to speak up if you are unsure of anything during the activity." 5. I interject here: "Throughout our program together, I'm going to be asking you to make other kinds of agreements. We'll have the opportunity to discuss the agreements before you commit to them. And maybe there will be some agreements you can't make - and that's okay. We will work through this as well." 6. I go on to ask for one agreement: "At this time, can you all agree to speak up any time you are unsure about something during the activity? This might be difficult to do, but I'm asking you to try. Can I get a thumbs up if you agree?" If there are any thumbs down, we talk through the concerns - I emphasize we are simply going to try and do our best to keep our agreements. 7. I provide the challenge at this point: "Here's how the activity works. As a group, our objective is to catch as many objects as we can - twice in a row. I'll explain this in a moment. We play the game in a series of Rounds. For Round 1 we have three objects to toss - hold up your object if you have one in your hand. Cool, thanks. Each Round will have at least two toss attempts, maybe more. I, for now, will begin each toss attempt by saying, 1, 2, 3, toss. On the word 'toss' everyone must toss their object to someone else in the group - you are not allowed to toss an object to yourself. If all the objects are caught on this first toss, we go for another toss with these three objects. I will say again, 1, 2, 3, toss. All objects must be tossed at the same time - objects can't be tossed to yourself AND you may not toss it back to the person who just tossed it to you. Now, if we catch all the objects this second time, we will add another object to the challenge - this is what I mean by catching the objects in play twice in a row. When we add an object, we move into the next Round. Again, the challenge is to see how many objects we can catch twice in a row. So, the more Rounds we play, the more objects we have caught. If an object drops to the ground after a toss, we simply try again - starting with zero catches. There might be time to discuss some questions after a drop: If we view a drop as a mistake, will it be okay to make a mistake during the activity? Who's made a mistake before? How do you like to be treated after making a mistake? How do you treat yourself after making a mistake? How do we want to treat ourselves and each other after making a mistake? Again, if a drop happens, we get to try again. The bottom line is that we will play each Round until we can catch the object in play twice in a row."ttempt at
NOTE: During the first attempt at Across Toss, I did take a little time to 'check in' on (process) the drops. I asked if they could tell me why an object dropped and what could be done to prevent this type of drop in the future - again, just a quick check.
8. I let the everyone know, "I am part of the group for this activity, so I am available to make an agreement." 9. At this point I ask if there are any questions about the challenge or directions. 10. It's time to toss. "Okay, let's give this a try. Everyone with an object, please make an agreement with someone in the group that will try to catch your toss. Then, you all let me know when you are ready for the toss." 11. I confirm, "Is everyone ready? Are you sure? Tossers, who is your agreement with?" I have them each point out who they have an agreement with. "Okay, here we go. 1, 2, 3, toss." In this Round I am calling the toss, until the group catches the objects twice in a row. 12. When the group is successful, we celebrate with hoots and claps!! 13. Here we discuss: "Let's check in - what agreements did you make so far? Were you able to keep your agreements? What happened if an agreement was not kept? Are there any questions or concerns about our agreements so far?" 14. At this point, I ask everyone to make another agreement. "Before moving on, I'd like to ask you to make another agreement with me and the group. I would like you to agree to speak your truth as we move on through the activity. There might be times when your truth is different than those of other group members - so it might be difficult to speak your truth, but I'm asking you to try. Do you have any questions about what I'm asking? Please give me a thumbs up if you can agree to try and speak your truth." 15. After our new agreement I introduce another object. I ask, "Do you all want to add in another object, all the same rules apply, or do you believe three objects is the best we can do at this time? What is your truth on this?" After some discussion we go to the next Round or decide together to stop and move on to another activity. If the group decides to move on to the next activity, we process our Across Toss experience (see below, Step 17) before moving on. 16. Playing the next Rounds: Rounds continue until the group 'agrees' that they have done the best they can do, at that time, and want to move to another activity. For each Round the rules are the same - when a player has an object (or two) to toss, they make an agreement with a catcher (or catchers). Then, everyone tosses on the word 'toss.' After the first Round the group decides who will count down the toss ("1, 2, 3, toss.") The group makes tosses until they can catch the objects twice in a row OR they decide, during a Round, they have achieved their best effort. 17. Processing Across Toss: After the decided end of the activity, I focused on one area of understanding - making and keeping agreements (the purpose of this specific set up). Even though I did (and will in the future) bring up some other learning moments (like, how we plan to treat each other when a mistake is made and preventing future drops - problem solving), I focused on the one topic for the processing take aways. Here are some of the questions to ask:
Why?
(In this section I give you the Why behind what I did for each step.) 1. I like using games spots if I have them - they provide clear information about where to stand when I want to keep this a constant. For Across Toss you don't need game spots. I chose to use a variety of tossable objects because I like the visual diversity and it provides an opportunity for participants to speak their truth. For example, in this first attempt at Across Toss one of the participants (during Round 4 I think) did ask if someone else would be willing to make an agreement with her tosser because the ball he had was small (stress ball) and hard to catch. To solve this, someone in the group traded objects with the tosser so he could have a larger object - the catcher was then comfortable enough to make an agreement with her tosser. Good Stuff!! 2. The circle with one-arm spacing is good, in my opinion, for tossing-types of activities. Players are not tossing over anyone. I decided if they asked to resize the circle I would let them, but if they ask to change the shape of their formation, I would not let them. In my thinking, I took away some problem-solving options (not an objective I was working on at the time, to focus on the topic of making agreements. 3. Starting with three objects saved some time - we could have started with one object, progressing from there. But I believed the group could handle three at the get-go. In a different situation I would go up to half the group starting out with an object - half are catching, and half are tossing. However, I wanted to have a couple Rounds of practice and confidence building before someone in the group had to both toss and catch. And I included myself in the action because this one seemed easy to observe while playing due to the controlled nature of tosses. I felt confident that I could, toss, catch and observe all at the same time. 4. Here I simply told them about what we would be working on during the activity so they could anticipate (a bit) what they would be talking about (known as frontloading the experience) during and after the experience. This can be considered the 'WHY they are doing this' part of the introduction. Providing some examples jump-starts the brain towards what to expect. I also knew that this middle school age group would understand what an agreement is so I didn't go into defining an agreement - but this could be done if needed. 5. This 'interjection' is considered framing the experience (different from a frontload). Framing is information about the structure of the program - "Throughout the program I'll be asking you to make other agreements..." Using Across Toss to introduce agreements gives us an experience to go back to during the program when we made new agreements or were still keeping our initial agreements. For example, I used this during the high course part of the day, "Remember during Across Toss I asked you to make the agreement to speak your truth, even if it would be difficult to do? Well, I'm still asking you to keep this agreement - to speak your truth about the Leap of Faith. What is your truth?" (A participant was feeling pressured by a friend to climb the pole, but I could tell he really didn't want to. So, I asked him for his truth.) He chose not to climb and instead, chose to be the anchor for the belay team. Again, good stuff! 6. Here I asked them to make their first agreement. I felt it was a reasonable first step - basically asking them to ask questions if they had them. In my experience, this is an easy agreement to make ("Sure I can ask questions."), AND it can be difficult to keep this agreement ("I'll look stupid to others if I ask this question."). This makes for a good processing question - "How many of you had a question or a concern you wanted to voice, but didn't? Why do you think we hold back questions?" A good thread to tease out. 7. This step is about flushing out the directions. I chose to start out saying the countdown ("1, 2, 3, toss.") so I could model this role. NOTE: In my plan, I was prepared to pass on this role to someone in the group - giving the group more responsibility. However, it didn't feel right relinquishing the role with this particular group. As described (Step 7 above), by all means, pass off this role if it feels right to do so. I didn't (and usually don't) get into super detail with the rules right away, I want to get my groups playing. Playing allows a group the chance to collect some data and then ask better questions. When talking about drops, I don't spend tons of time here either - I don't make a big deal about it. I did tell my group, "...a drop can be seen as a mistake - so how will we treat each other if this happens." We discuss and move on. Again, my focus for the activity was on making agreements. One of the agreements was to TRY and catch a toss - so, essentially, catching was not required, only a try-to-catch. Now, with that said, could there be some embarrassment around not catching? Yes. But a reminder about making the try is what's important. "Did you try? Awesome. Then you kept your agreement. Now, we get to TRY again - we get more practice. Isn't this great?!" 8. Here I remind everyone I get to play as well - I can make agreements with them. I also share that I will not always get to play because my responsibilities will change depending on what we're doing. But, whenever I can, I'll play. I believe 'playing' with the group provides me with the opportunity to build rapport - be a part of the successes and limitations. We can be in it together. And adults are great resources and very willing to make agreements and show (sharing experience) that it's hard for us as well, to keep agreements all the time. For example.... I share stories about myself so my participants will (hopefully) get the scenes that I'm human, just like them. 9. I believe it's always important to provide the group opportunities to ask questions - and this was an agreement I asked them to make. My process is this - after asking if anyone has any questions, I look at everyone in the circle, making eye contact with each person for about three seconds. I go around twice (the second time a bit faster). This allows time for everyone to think about a question they have and then formulate how they want to phrase their question. I find this process produces more interaction from the group - they are more willing to share if they have a little time to think and decide. 10. Here I'm asking them to make their first agreement with someone in the group. I don't tell them how to do this - I want them to figure this part out. And it's not easy for everyone to 'ask' something of another person. This is part of the learning. If a solid agreement isn't made, there is confusion and drops. So, I let this play out on its own. 11. Now, before we tossed, I asked everyone to confirm who they made an agreement with. I want to hold them accountable for at least Round 1. NOTE: During this initial attempt with Across Toss I did not ask for confirmation in the subsequent Rounds - we saw more drops occur than the first Round. And the group did come to realize that without clear agreement drops were more likely. Round 1 only needed two tosses - I believe checking in with their agreements helped. We were able to clear up any misunderstandings before tossing. I facilitated the process. 12. We celebrate after the first Round - I celebrated a bit more than they did, they didn't think it was a big deal, yet. And we did take some time to talk about the importance of celebration and what celebrating can do for motivation. Not a ton of time on this, just planting seeds for later. 13. Here we did a little check in to see where we stood. We had two agreements so far - agreeing to speak up if they had questions or concerns and making agreements between a tosser and a catcher. Then we talked, briefly, about how everyone did with their agreements. After the first successful Round with no drops, everyone felt they kept their agreements. We were feeling good. 14. Before moving into the second Round, I introduced the group to a new process in the challenge. I'm telling them, at this particular time, because this is where it's most relevant. I didn't ask them to make this new agreement right away - they didn't need to at the beginning. So, I saved some time in the beginning. I didn't overload them with information. Give what is needed at the onset and add as you go. At this point they are asked to make another agreement about speaking their truth - even if it's difficult to do. Others might have a different truth. It's about reaching consensus as a group - everyone agreeing to keep going or stop and move on to the next activity. 15. So, when adding one more object to the challenge with each new Round, I asked everyone to speak their truth, whether or not they thought they could be successful - two catches in a row - with another object. Or were they at their best number of objects. 16. In this initial attempt of Across Toss, the group had no issues with adding another object - up to Round 4 where some participants were now tossing and catching objects. There were drops in Rounds 2 and 3, but the group quickly realized their agreements were not always clear, leading to 'mistakes.' they did a good job supporting each other, as well, as they tried again. I facilitated some questions about agreements to help them consider solutions. During Round 4, there were successful catches, but then failed second attempts. After six failed twice-in-a-row attempts, I asked if this was the best they could do at that time. Some were very vocal about staying the course and trying again, other stepped up and spoke their truth, stating they thought this was good enough and they would like to move on to something new. After processing a little around the point of 'making agreements' they all felt they got the message and were ready to move on to something else. I stepped in with processing due to the limited time we had with our team building portion of the program. Another choice I can make in the future is to let the group hash out their truths a bit longer to see if they can come to a decision on their own - keep trying or move on. 17. After deciding to move on we processed for about five minutes. Again, only focusing on agreements - this was the main lesson I wanted to take forward with this group because more agreements were ahead. And we were still going to keep our agreements of asking questions and speaking our truth! Programming Notes: As noted, this was the first time I tried this activity, and it met my expectations - my desired outcome to talk about agreements. Now, I don't know how far a group can get with this one. We were a group of eight and made it to six objects (to Round 4). That was two people tossing and catching. So, what is possible? This has yet to be determined. Let me know how far you get. Footnote: All Catch (original verbatim description) from Karl Rohnke,The Bottomless Bag: The group stands in the jump circle in the center of the gym. Group numbers about 25 and holds 10 balls. When the instructor calls "Throw," all release the balls (volleyball type) up to a height of at least 10 feet. If you throw a ball, you cannot catch a ball. Throws are made only on command. Only catchers have to be in the circle. If a ball touches the floor, it is out of play. When three balls are left, the game is over. Count the number of catches made to establish a score. Have FUN out there my friends! Keep me posted. Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 
(About a 7-minute read. The first volume in this 'Skills and Abilities' series is a slightly updated version of an interview I had with John Losey in 2017 - still relevant today. It was originally posted at the FUNdoing blog. We are moving theoretical posts to OnTeamBuilding to organize content.)
After introduction material for John's Growing People Podcast, he dove right into his main question: What are a few vital skills and abilities good facilitators possess?
Don't Take Things Personally In my opinion, the most important ability of a team building educator is referenced by don Miguel Ruiz in, The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisdom Book - Don't take anything personally.* As a young educator (back in the day), this was not easy - I did take things very personally. I was just trying to help, after all! Luckily, during my first (real) Adventure Education job my new mentor told me that taking things personally - especially when working with at-risk youth, young people struggling to fit in - influences our decision making. They're going to project, they're going to blame me, they're going to make me the bad guy for 'making' them do things [pushing them out of their comfort zone] they don't want to do. Yes, I chose to feel horrible. My mentor noticed I was avoiding learning opportunities, not pushing enough. I was avoiding my own discomfort. I was avoiding the hard work that goes into behavior change. Our job, he said, was to get the kids to do that difficult stuff, to get mad at us, to blame us. Then we could help them understand there are other choices, other ways to respond to discomfort. My mentor's feedback, that moment of learning for me, was very important. It stuck. Not right away, but slowly over time I got better and better at doing the hard work, avoiding my personal suffering. As we dive into team building [and team development], to really help our participants/students to know and 'get' what they have asked us to learn, we need to be able to create experiences where discomfort is going to show up [this is our job!]. Participants may lash out at us. And yes, it's not pleasant. There is a physiological response - we get knotted up inside. It throws us off our game if we let it. So, the practiced ability is to not take it personally. Here's an analogy I use to make the point: As educators we are tasked (hired) to provide our groups with a rollercoaster ride [this, of course, does depend on the kind of program a group is looking for]. We are the operators, we don't get on the ride. We are skilled in setting up the ride, buckling them in, and sending them on their way. This ability to separate ourselves from the group's experiences is not easy, but a vital ability. Maintaining objectivity (disconnection) is essential to noticing the behaviors that arise in our groups and then helping them to discover and internalize their learnings.
Concepts and Behaviors
Another ability, or maybe even more of a skill, is for team building educators to understand the difference between a concept and a behavior. For example, concepts tend to be the typical objectives we get from our clients. They want to work out their challenges with teamwork, communication, trust and/or leadership (to name a few). Specifically, they will tell us they have a hard time communicating with each other, or there is a lack of communication, or they are not listening to each other which is leading to misunderstanding. There is some sort of communication issue. Communication is a concept. What I call a BIG word. To change, or help mitigate a problem concept, we need to identify the behaviors that make up the concept. Here's the analogy I like to use for this idea: Let's grab a jar of peanut butter. It says PEANUT BUTTER real big on the label. This equates to a concept. It's the name for all the stuff inside the jar - peanuts, sugar, salt, preservatives, etc. In our analogy, the 'stuff' equates to behaviors, the things that make up peanut butter. So, if a client wants us to work on improving communication, we need to identify the behaviors involved (the stuff) in communication like intonation, body language, eye contact, turn-taking, repeating what was heard (in active listening), use of words and how many words used, along with the kinds of words used. Identification of behaviors could be done during the pre-assessment (in some cases) or behaviors can be discovered during the program itself. Behaviors are things we can see and hear. When we can point out behaviors within a group, get them to see what they are doing and hear what they saying, we can help them change what isn't working and practice what is. Understanding the behaviors within a concept also helps us choose (plan) activities we know will bring up these behaviors. When we're asked to work on improving communication, we'll choose the activities we know that involve communication between participants. For example, I'll have my group line up alphabetically using verbal communication versus asking them to line up without talking. I'll require five minutes of planning before an activity instead of letting them jump right into it - I'm 'forcing' some communication so we can process how it goes. Ultimately, if participants can learn how to see the behaviors within their group and not just say, "We don't communicate well," they can help each other change the specific behaviors that are not working for them. In my experience it's often just one behavior that needs to change in order to reach the outcome desired.
Asking Tough Questions
Being comfortable (and appropriate) asking tough questions is another important skill and ability of a team building educator. It goes back to not taking things personally. When an educator is ready and willing to work with the resistance that may occur, powerful learning can take place from tough questions. When we're asking questions, we're processing experiences. When I train team builders, I encourage them to find a processing method they are comfortable with - one that can include tough questions. (For example, "I noticed one person in the group did most of the talking throughout the activity, how did this influence the participation of others in the group?") We train on some methods, for example the, What? So What? Now What? and Open to Outcome models. We practice a bit, work on other techniques, and reference even more. I always emphasize that getting comfortable with processing (and asking tough questions) takes time, it's an art. Observe other educators asking questions, get feedback on your processing from experienced team builders, dive into books and online resources for ideas. Mistakes will be made; we'll learn from them and promise to do better next time. Tough questions don't have to be bad experiences with groups when they are woven into a program with positive intent. On that note, it’s important to find out (e.g., pre-assessment) how 'deep' a group wants to go during a program. Don't take them down a path they are not willing to travel. Bringing up tough questions during a team development program is more common than asking tough questions during a team bonding program. Find out how much work a group is willing to put in and temper your questions to their desired outcomes.
The most important thing to remember is if you're willing to put in the time and effort at developing your skills and abilities as a team building educator, improvement is bound to take place. Be patient. Anything worth attaining takes time.
* The other three agreements shared by Ruiz (very relevant to good educators): Be Implacable with Your Word; Don't Make Assumptions; Always Do Your Best. All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D. 
My good friend John Losey shared a piece in one of his recent IntoWisdom monthly newsletters (sign up HERE to follow John's thought provoking work). He let me repost here at OnTeamBuilding - it fits in well with our ongoing conversations. Even though 'novel' (or 'Cool') activities are enticing, John reminds us to keep our focus on the outcomes, the purpose of what the activities are for - to learn and grow together. It's about what happens within the group during the activity. It's not about the activity itself.
Avoiding the Novelty Trap by John Losey
When asked to create a program, course, or event, I get excited. I want to build the most unique and compelling experience possible. Too often, I go directly to inventing something new or novel. Something that nobody has experienced and is uniquely mine. I avoid things I've done before, even the ones that work, for something novel and original. I want to "Wow" them with something cool. The pursuit of something "cool" is a dangerous and time-consuming practice. This pursuit of originality can distract me from meeting the client's desired outcomes. I prioritize the novelty and uniqueness of an activity, presentation, or exercise overlooking for the successful things I've done before that are far more likely to be effective. Stephen Covey's second habit of highly effective people is "begin with the end in mind." I've encountered these words of wisdom in several different forms. "Management by Objective," "Focus on the Outcomes," and "Start your planning by focusing on success." When I focus on "Wowing" the client with unique and novel programming, I toss out the wisdom of focusing first on the outcomes and objectives. Instead of clearly defining success and looking for the best approaches to reaching that success, I spend time, energy, and resources building something that may or may not take the program in the right direction. It may be cool, but it may not work. With a clear understanding of the outcomes, my first step should be to look back on similar successful programs. What have I done before that will take me toward success? Can I use any of these or adapt them to fit into this program? If you've been designing or delivering programs for any amount of time, your experience has created a rich resource of options. This bank of proven ideas should be the first place you look as you construct a path to success. You will, most likely, find something that fits or can be adapted. If not, you may want to explore more novel and creative options. You don't have to start from scratch or totally "reinvent the wheel." Can you combine existing ideas or frame existing resources in new ways? Before you post to the internet for ideas, seek out trusted advisors and admired professionals to ask for insights and bouncing ideas off. If you still feel stumped, you may want to turn to social media for as a last resort. Another option you may want to consider is if you're a good fit for this project. Just because you're asked doesn't mean you should take it. If you are struggling to find successful experiences from your past, you may want to think about who you know might fit better. See if they would be willing to collaborate with you or even take over the project. Referrals offer a great way to build strong professional connections. If you're in over your head, ask for help. While the allure of creating something completely new and unique can be tempting, it is crucial to approach program, course, or event design with a focus on the desired outcomes and objectives. By heeding Stephen Covey's wisdom to "begin with the end in mind," we can avoid the pitfalls of chasing novelty at the expense of effectiveness. Instead, we should tap into our wealth of past successful experiences, drawing from a bank of proven ideas and approaches. We can explore more innovative options, seeking insights from trusted advisors and professionals if necessary. Remember, starting from scratch is not always the best path; combining existing ideas or reaching out for collaboration can yield fruitful results. If the project proves overwhelming or outside our expertise, it is wise to consider alternative collaborators or seek help. We can build strong connections and deliver impactful experiences by prioritizing outcomes and leveraging past successes.
Thank you John. We appreciate the share!
All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D.
P.S. Would you like a super-quick update when new OnTeamBuilding content is posted? Just fill out the form below and then click the big blue button. I'll keep you posted.
(About a 24-minute read. This is a migration and updated post. It was initially shared at the FUNdoing.com Blog. We are moving theoretical posts to OnTeamBuilding to organize content.)
The What? & Why? Series, is my attempt to document the things I think about when programming and leading team building activities. This learning tool is an example of one way to think about leading this particular activity, providing the why underlines some of the purpose behind my choices. Things to ponder.
I've been using Name Cards since teaching middle school. I initially wrote about how I use them in, Portable Teambuilding Activities (as one way to practice and learn names, among other things). I then starting doing team building activities with the Name Cards as a way to get more use from the prop. One of the activities is Name Card Exchange. (Another way is Name Card Scramble, used with groups who already know each other well.) When I decided to try my hand at writing out my reasoning for the 'things' I think about, Name Card Exchange was my first choice. On one hand it was another way for me to document my thoughts. On the other hand, I was thinking, maybe those of you who train team building facilitators could use this format as a training exercise in the spirit of 'Purposeful Program Design' (a practice I've been flushing out for a few years now). The idea is to first share 'what' you do - teaching the activity (not revealing 'why' you do it right away). Lead your trainees in a discussion about what they think the activity is about (the why) - the 'purposeful' reasons they might have for leading the activity in the way they were shown. Then reveal your 'why' as one professional's perspective (as we know there's more than one way to peel an orange). Let's give it a try. (Buckle up, this is an epic long-form post. My hope is that you find it worth the ride.) Name Card Exchange is an activity for a group of 12 to 50 participants middle school age and older. (Younger groups can make it through the basics of this one as well.) I use it to start learning names and introduce the concepts of Team Building and Problem Solving - simple directions and lots to talk about. Typically it lasts about 15 to 20 minutes.
What? - Name Card Exchange
The following will be the 'thinking' behind each step. To reiterate, there can be a wide range of thinking points related to Name Card Exchange depending on a facilitators goals and program outcomes.
Why? - Name Card Exchange
1. As participants are starting to gather, I can introduce myself quickly and ask them to do something for me - creating an opportunity for them to help me out. This is one way to start building a relationship with my group. Most people are used to making name tags, so the task is not new to them - they have prior knowledge. It's a bit different since we are making name "cards" but it's not too much of a stretch. I also provide an example and a simple expectation - "Your first name nice and BIG, like the example on the table." As the leader (or educator) of the program I can take a role of "expectation setter" for the group - often associated with leadership (as a group may see me initially). Participants still have a choice, and some exercise the choice, of not making their name nice and BIG. This might come up later when in the problem-solving mode of the activity. If the name was written with smaller letters, it's a bit more challenging to see the name on the card when others are looking at/for it. If this happens, I can point out that I did share an expectation early on that, as an educator, I thought might help them in the future. Part of my role, I tell them, (as a "teacher" educator) could be to offer up some information that might help during the program. (If you are reacting to me 'helping' my group, keep in mind, as I always say, "there's more than one way to peel an orange!")
2. I like circles. As we know, this formation allows for everyone in the group to see everyone else. It's also the best configuration to share your voice - sound waves move around within a circle much better than any other shape. I also remind everyone to have their name card in hand. There will be people in the group who will want to know what to do with the name card when they get done making it. 3. My participants (no matter what age) will want to know what's going on. I use this time to share a VERY brief introduction and logistical information (e.g., where are the restrooms - ease some anxiety of the environment when possible) - no more than 90 seconds. If you dive into educational theory, "short boughts of instruction" are preferred over long boughts. It's all about keeping attention. Before I move on (to Step 4) I note that we will be doing our first activity in a moment, something that will help them understand, even more, what will be happening. 4. When I change the topic to "challenge by choice" (or whatever you use to inform your group about choice), I get another 90 seconds of my group's attention. I use the example of making the name cards as a reference to some choices - I ask my participants to hold up their cards and look around (this engages some physical activity). Even with the expectation of making their first name nice and BIG, they made choices - I look around at the cards they are holding and point out the different choices made (e.g., color of marker, style of lettering, the position of the name on the card, etc.). In my "choice" presentation, I do ask everyone in the group to "stay" with his/her group in some way. "One of my responsibilities," I tell them, “Is for me to know where everyone is. If you stay with your group, it's easier for me to focus on the other parts of my job so you can have the best experience as possible. So, thanks for helping me with this." (Again, I asked for their "help" - continuing to build my relationship with most of the group - some might not be engaged by my invitation to help me out. Before moving on I do ask if anyone has any questions up to this point - and, of course, provide the answers I can. 5. Again, I change the topic, letting them know we are going to do our first challenge together. Back to educational theory, I'm providing a brief "anticipatory set" (information) about what's to come. In adventure education we often call this "front loading". I want my group to know that what we're doing next is like what we'll be doing together for the program. Now, I don't say much here, I want to get my group moving by this time. [Note: We're only about five minutes into the program.] 6. In this step I emphasize that there will be times when we have to do some "skill development" before moving into an activity - "we'll need some particular skills to increase our chances of success." "For some of you, the skills might be easy to pick up, for others the skills might not be easy - they might be a challenge to work through. That's part of why we're here - to work through the challenges we'll be facing together." I want my group to know that there will be some unknown ahead and we're here to support each other. Before I move into Step 7, I remind my group of the perfect circle expectation, that they cannot move until I say "perfect circle". This is often forgotten when additional information is provided after directions are given - it's just how the brain works. 7. I've moved to a location in the activity space that allows for the same size circle to be formed (I don't need to add a challenge here of adapting to a smaller space - not the purpose for the activity), THEN I say, "perfect circle." Again, I don't say anything else. I stay quiet (maybe look at them a bit with "questioning" body language), so the group has the opportunity to figure out what's next. I want to start transferring the "power" of decision making over to the group. At first, most (if not all) groups will look to the main facilitator (the person who often talks first) to lead the way. In our team building programs, we want the group to lead the way - right? So, again, I want them to start problem solving together. Every time I do this, no matter what age, at least one person will take an initiative to try something. 8. Once the circle is formed (so far, for me, it always gets there), I ask if anyone has questions about forming the Perfect Circle. I ask at this point, and not during Step 6, because I want the questions to come from experience and not speculation, and I want them to get moving. Then I add the new rule to the Perfect Circle. As often as I can, I like to provide directions in increments. When I can first anchor, with some action, one (or two) direction(s) it's easier for the brain to take in new information. Note: I added the, "I can only call perfect circle" after one of my groups decided to "overuse" the term - you know what I'm talking about. 9. Then, another call to action. This second attempt is always better (time and process) than the first. At this point I ask them how they're doing. I let my group know I will be asking this question throughout the program. I want to know how things are going for them. I tell them, “This helps me to know where to take you next - I want to give you good challenges, not overdo it." (You noticed, I asked for their help again - building my relationship with them.) With a little "group" experience under their belt, questions are easier to "see". This is the time where I often tell my group, "Questions are free today. So, ask away. Now, it's not my role to solve 'problems' that come up, that's your job. But don't be afraid to ask, clarification might lead to solving a problem." With this information I let my group know a little bit more about my role and "officially" let them know it's their job to problem solve - a point I then get to reiterate during the program. 10. One more call to action - usually fast this time. This physical action anchors some of the information we just talked about and opens the brain back up for the new information in Step 11. Some of you might not agree with my choice to congratulate my group. However, I believe "validation" is a good thing - validation is another way to build relationship. I am specific. I say something like, "excellent perfect circle - everyone is where they need to be." Or, I might say, "WOW, that was fast! Good job. As we move forward, this might be important." Again, Educational Theorists will say specific feedback can be internalized better. Then, I let my group know we have one more thing to learn before we play the game. This adds to the anticipation about what's to come. 11. Here I teach the Blind Shuffle - the first part of Name Card Return. I call it "skill development" because I'm pretty sure everyone is about to do something they've never done before (unless they have been in a team building program with me before). So, "when learning something new we want to be nice to each other and ourselves - this might be very important to remember as we work together today." When I teach the Blind Shuffle, I let my group know that "part of the challenge" is not to look at their cards before I say "GO!" I set the expectation and tell them how it fits into the activity. I also let them know that if they "accidentally" look at their card after they stop moving, simply exchange it with someone. This lets my group know (or starts to anyway), that sometimes we'll do something we're asked NOT to do. "It's important to do our best, if we can, but know that mistakes are part of learning. Most mistakes are not done on purpose. The idea here is to recognize our mistakes and do something about it" - in this case, I've given my group the opportunity to fix the mistake - exchange cards with someone near them. Then we can move on - enough said. I also provide some time to clarify the expectation of "stopping" after exchanging with five different people. This is confusing for some people - somethings I give an example. I walk around the group, exchange with five different people (while everyone is watching me) and then stop. (I know this might sound silly, but it happens every time. Some get it. Some don't.) And I make sure they understand they can continue to exchange cards with others even if they have stopped moving. I tell them they are "helping" others finish up their exchanges. (This information is also difficult for some people to understand - they believe they must stop everything they are doing). 12. When I see everyone has stopped moving, I give them one more opportunity to exchange name cards with someone if they accidentally peeked at the name on their card. Again, my purpose is to start/continue building a safe learning environment. Now, of course some people will not "admit" they peeked because of prior "shamed" experiences. If anyone does make an exchange, I'm sure to thank them for doing so. I don't make a big deal out of it (like, "thanks for having integrity" - this qualification takes you down another relationship path), I simply say, "Thank you." 13. In this Step I've shared the directions to Name Card Exchange. This activity is what I consider to be an introductory challenge. It has only two parts (or, you might say, rules) - return the card to the person it belongs to and form a perfect circle in relation to where I'm standing. I also tell my group that the process will be evaluated by time. I then share that during the program there may be this or other types of evaluation processes. Here I open the floor to questions about the expectations. At this time, I don't bring up anything more about "evaluation" unless they do. And if they do, I'll ask them, "at this time, please hold that thought. I would love to bring this up again in a little bit." In most cases we can forego this conversation. If needed, open up talks. So, once the group understands they will be timed, as you can imagine, the energy begins to change. There's something on the line. For some it's exciting, for others, not so much. (All good things that can come up during the program.) Here again I'll say, "Questions are free. does anyone need help understanding what's about to happen?" It's also good to note here that I don't ask the group if they want some time to talk amongst themselves before this first attempt. I want to give them an experience, get them moving, give them something to talk about. When it seems like the time... 14. Once I say "GO!", I first start the time - DON"T FORGET THIS PART! (You know why!) I usually don't know many of the names of my group members yet, so I use, what I consider to be, a helpful behavior. I start calling out the name of the person on my card. By doing this, maybe I'm role modeling a positive behavior and maybe I'm continuing to build my relationship with the group - now, that is if anyone notices. (Here's the counter point. What do they notice if I'm standing off to the side? I like to "play" at first and then slowly step back.) As soon as I can hand off the name card I have I move to a place outside the clump of players who have often mobbed together in the center area of the original circle. At some point between handing off the card I had and stopping the time, someone has found me and returned my name card. Since I am part of the solution, I choose to move to my Perfect Circle spot instead of looking for my name card. I don't say anything during the "return" and "circle up" action. I just wait for movement to stop - then I stop the time. (Sometimes movement might start up again when players realize something is not right. I simply restart my stopwatch and stop it again when movement stops. 15. I purposefully hold back sharing the time with the group until after I find out how they believe they did, and if they thought they were successful. This sense is more related to a "process" evaluation of how a task is done rather than the "product" evaluation of time. When I hear different answers about how they thought they did I like to point out that, "We will have differences of opinion during the program - this is part of being a diverse group of people." Often we talk about this for a while and why diversity can be a good thing and even why diversity could be a bad thing. Before sharing the time, I also like to share other responsibilities that I have, '...provide activities that will challenge you and ask questions..." Again, letting my group know what they can expect of me is another way to build my relationship with them. Throughout the program I will often refer to what I've told them about my responsibilities in order to curb any false expectations that might be showing up. Note: This step only takes a few minutes - I want to keep them in "action" mode but engage the mind a bit. 16. At this point, after our quick discussions, I share the time achieved and ask if this is the best they can do? Be mindful here of your voice intonation. I keep my voice neutral; I don't use my voice to imply that they can do better. The way we ask questions can be just as powerful as the question itself. In research interviewing terms, we don't want to "lead" the interviewee (group) into an answer we want to hear - we want to be as neutral as possible. Since it was only the first attempt at the activity most of the groups I've worked with believe they can do better. They want to try again. Now, be ready for one or more participants ready to voice their desire to move on. They, for any number of reasons, what to do something else. If this happens you have a wonderful opportunity to talk about, "How do we move forward when we don't have a consensus within the group?" Now, again, I don't spend too much time here at the beginning of a program to teach about consensus building or compromising. I like to put this on the group - what ideas do they have for moving forward? At this point I've done one of two things so far. I've asked those who do not want to try again if it would be okay with them if we could try again to see how it goes. This usually is okay with them. I've also proposed that it is perfectly okay to choose not to try again - those who do not want to try can step out to the side and observe the process and offer feedback during the discussion. This is an example of offering choice. However, I have yet to have any takers on this option. Think about it, what kind of choice is it? Most people will not choose to step away from the "safety" of the group even if they don't want to do what everyone else is doing. They will choose to stay with the group. (Now, if anyone decides to step out before the next round, ask everyone to look at their name card. The player(s) stepping out switch cards with the player(s) who have their card. Then, cards are turned back face down before the shuffle. Also, the perfect circle will include empty spaces left open by those who have stepped out - it works just fine.) 17. Before we begin the process of Name Card Return (and any activity in the future), I ask the group if they are "ready" to start the process again? The Ready Check is meant to "suggest" they can take time to talk about the activity - do some problem solving and planning. I don't tell them at this point what I'm suggesting. I want to see if anyone steps up and says, "No, we're not ready yet." Sometimes players will ask, "Can we talk a little before we start?" The answer is always, "Of course!" (Note: Be prepared for ready check responses from participants that might sound a bit rude - some "reactions" from the group/individuals come across in different ways. All good things to talk about.) In most cases, my group will tell me they are ready to try again without any discussion. 18. Here we start the process again with the Blind Shuffle. I simply repeat the directions again - "Exchange cards with five different people, then stop moving." Sometimes, I also need to remind the group that this shuffle part is not timed - some players tend to jump to this assumption, creating an environment that's not necessary. Another nice discussion topic if the behaviors show up. 19. After movement stops and before time starts, I invite them to change cards with someone near them if they happened to peek at the card they are holding. I assure them that, "there is no penalty - it's just part of the challenge not to know what card you are holding." I what my group to know, again, that mistakes will be made from time-to-time. It's our responsibility to learn from them and do something about them if needed. (This is working on the "safe" environment aspect of the program.) 20. Here I start the second attempt of Name Card Return. (Don't forget to start the time once you say, "GO!") I personally follow the same steps from the first attempt - I want to stay consistent with my process. I hold up my card, showing the name on it to the crowd as I call out the name of the person on the card I'm holding. Once I get this card back to the person it belongs to, I find a new place to stand on the outskirts of the crowd. Once I'm at my new spot I look for the player with my card - the player looking for me. Once I take back my card, I quietly watch the group finish up their card returning and movement into the perfect circle. When movement stops, I stop the timer. Here I (still) quietly wait just a bit to see if anyone recognizes anyone out of order. If movement resumes, I start the time again. When everyone believes we are all in the correct place, time is stopped. 21. Again, I ask the "How did you do?" questions, keeping the process consistent for the group - they begin to know what to expect from me at this point, in this process. Hopefully, we begin to feel a bit more comfortable with each other and more participants share in the discussion. At this point my group realizes I will not "call" on people or expect any answers to the questions proposed - there is a degree of safety and freedom to participate. This tends to make people more comfortable and willing to share. After some brief sharing I tell them the second time they achieved. 22. When the group finds out their second time, we will discuss their reaction to a better time or their reaction to a slower time. During either of these discussions, I let my group know that we will be experiencing these possible outcomes during the program. Then we might talk a bit more about how we might use these experiences throughout the program - "What can they teach us?" Then again, I ask the group if this is the best they can do? If they agree it's their best, we can recap the process and how it relates to the program ahead. Then move forward into the program. 23. If they choose to go for another attempt, I let them know we have time for one more try. Since we are still just getting started, I don't provide endless attempts - I want them to get into the program. This "last attempt" information tends to motive more problem-solving behaviors. At this stage of the process, I change the way I suggest the Ready Check. I say, "Let me know when you are ready to start your final attempt." Putting it this way often leads them into the idea that they have space to talk about the activity. If someone in the group speaks up right away and says, "We ready!" I will ask everyone, "So, is everyone ready to begin?" This provides another opening for someone to step up and ask for time to talk. 24. I call out the Blind Shuffle here - reminding the group of the procedure. Again, being consistent, telling them the same information about the shuffle as before. I don't want to introduce the "concept" of change at this point in the program. Change behaviors might be part of the program later, but this beginning is about an introduction to the program not behavior awareness or working on any of their other objectives. Once the group knows more about the structure of the process it will be easier for them to focus on the specific reasons for their participation in the program. (This is related to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs - basic needs met before any complex learning can take place.) 25. After everyone has stopped moving and any final exchanges are made, I do add one more ready check. This opens one more chance for the group to do any last moment problem solving. Be sure to let them know, they cannot move until "GO!" is called (part of the rules) - some players might consider solving a problem by moving before "GO!" is called. On another note, there have been times, for me, when groups have determined my movement is a "problem" to solve. Some have asked me to tell them where I'm going. Others have asked me to stay right where I'm standing so they know where I am. In either case I honor their request. This brings up a little discussion about another role I can take within the group. There are times when I can be a resource. As noted earlier - there are certain questions I might not answer, but in many cases I can be a resource. Interestingly enough, educators are often overlooked as resources in the learning process (don't get me started). So, when the group is determined and ready, I say, "GO!" and follow my same card return, move, and look for my card procedure - unless I was asked to do something different. Once all the movement stops, I stop the timer. 26. As before I ask how they did before I share their time. Since it was the final attempt, I might spend a little more focused time here on the discussion points. I might also bring up some of the specific goals the group is here to work through and how they will fit into the activities ahead. 27. Before closing I'll do a little review of the program points - reiterating what the group can expect in the time ahead. Before answering any questions, they have (the final point), I bring up the concept of challenge by choice, so, moving forward they have this at the forefront of their mind. 28. Finally, I remind the group that, "Questions are free." I make sure to spend some time answering any questions they have - if I can. I have been known to ask participants to, "Hold that thought - I'll be asking you to bring this up again soon." In this situation, I know we'll be covering the answers to certain questions soon - I'm waiting for a more "experiential" moment to provide new information.
Yes. A long journey. Was there value in it for you?
I'm going to guess, most of us simply move through our programming efforts using our historical knowledge about what works and what doesn't, from one group to the next (I certainly do, most of the time). This What? & Why? practice is not for everyone. But what if we did it more often? What if we talked out the thinking? Would our programming be better? Would our facilitation bring about more meaning? I wonder. If you decide to try a What? & Why? I would love to see it. And would be happy to discuss it with you. Drop me an email. All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D.
P.S. Would you like a super-quick update when new OnTeamBuilding content is posted? Just fill out the form below and then click the big blue button. I'll keep you posted.
(About a 5-minute read.)
If you are anywhere near social media I'll assume you heard about the AI wave and how we can "chat" with it to explore topics and concepts. I didn't dive into it like some other team builder friends did to explore how we can enhance our work by chatting with AI until one of them said to me, "the idea is to start a conversation, chat with it - it's fun." Well, if something's FUN... I trust the source, so I spend a little time having some fun. Here is one of my chats with ChatGPT (from Open AI - the free version has worked well for me).
I've been using quotes in my programming for a while and recently I've been running into the idea of 'Thought Experiments' and thought, "can quotes be used as Thought Experiments?" So I went in for a chat with AI that you'll find below. NOTE: Now that you know AI is providing information to this post, what are you thinking about? Resistant? Curious? Do I, as the 'prompter,' have any value in the conversation? Will the information be more or less credible? Will you be more or less prone to use the ideas shared by the AI? Would you consider this: AI is pulling from information that has been contributed by 'humans' in an ever-growing digital ecosystem - are AI responses less or more valid? Quotes as Thought Experiments (the Chat with an AI)
Chris: What is a Thought Experiment?
Chat: A thought experiment is a mental exercise, or an imaginary scenario used to explore and illustrate a particular concept or hypothesis. It involves the use of the imagination to visualize a situation, and then examining the consequences that arise from it, without actually physically carrying out the experiment. Thought experiments are often used in philosophy, physics, mathematics, and other disciplines to explore the implications of a particular idea or theory. They allow for the testing of different hypotheses, the exploration of alternative possibilities, and the clarification of complex concepts. [Note from Chris - sounds like what we do as team builders, but we experiment with the thoughts.] Chris: Give me five bullet points on the benefits of thought experiments. Chat: Certainly! Here are five potential benefits of thought experiments: 1. Promoting Creativity: Thought experiments can help individuals generate new ideas, perspectives, and approaches to problem-solving by challenging conventional thinking and assumptions. 2. Testing Hypotheses: Thought experiments allow individuals to explore the consequences of different hypotheses or theories without having to perform physical experiments. This can be especially useful in fields where it is difficult or impossible to conduct experiments in real life, such as in astrophysics. 3. Clarifying Concepts: Thought experiments can help to clarify complex concepts by presenting them in a simplified, concrete scenario that can be more easily understood and analyzed. 4. Encouraging Reflection: Thought experiments often require individuals to reflect on their own values, beliefs, and assumptions, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their worldviews. 5. Enriching Discussions: Thought experiments can be used to spark engaging and thought-provoking discussions in group settings, encouraging individuals to share and explore different perspectives and ideas.
Chris: Give me five quotes on leadership that could be used as thought experiments.
Chat: Certainly! Here are five potential quotes on leadership that could be used as thought experiments: 1. "A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way." - John C. Maxwell Thought experiment: Imagine a leader who knows the way but fails to go the way or show the way. What are the consequences of such leadership? 2. "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams Thought experiment: Imagine a leader who inspires others but fails to follow through on their own actions. What impact does this have on the motivation and performance of their team? 3. "The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers." - Ralph Nader Thought experiment: Imagine a leader who prioritizes the development of their team members, rather than focusing solely on their own accomplishments. What benefits might this have for the team and the organization as a whole? 4. "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things." - Ronald Reagan Thought experiment: Imagine a leader who achieves great success on their own but fails to engage and inspire their team. How does this impact the sustainability and longevity of their success? 5. "Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge." - Simon Sinek Thought experiment: Imagine a leader who prioritizes their own interests or ego, rather than the well-being and development of their team. How does this impact trust, loyalty, and performance within the team?
What are you thinking about chatting with AI now? (Any changes from your initial thoughts?)
We'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave us a Comment. All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D.
P.S. Would you like a super-quick update when new OnTeamBuilding content is posted? Just fill out the form below and then click the big blue button. I'll keep you posted.
(About a 5-minute read.)
If you've been around the team building world I'm sure you've used various thumb gauges. A simple 'thumbs up' gets a lot of use (hopefully more than the thumbs down). I frequently use (and share) two thumb gauges with my groups - they are TOOLS to transmit information quickly. One is Thumb Voting and the other is the Thumbometer.
Thumb Voting
I learned Thumb Voting from my friend Tom Leahy. He uses it as a 'Consensus-Building' tool. When faced with a decision where consensus is desired (meaning everyone agrees to something at some level), groups can use this tool to quickly see everyone’s position on a proposed decision. For example: A group works together before a particular challenge to come up with a plan. When a plan seems to be formulated, someone verbalizes the plan to all group members. Then (knowing about the Thumb Vote tool), they take a Thump Vote - everyone votes at the same time with one thumb so everyone can see. A thumbs up indicates the person understands the plan and is ready to support the plan. A thumb to the side means the person may not be completely clear about the plan but is ready and willing to do their part and figure out how to help as they go. A thumbs down indicates the person needs some clarity about the plan in order to understand what's going to happen and how they can be a part of the group's success. In other words, this person has a question (or two) about the plan. (Note: I use this tool with groups who possess some average communication skills - willing to let everyone share information and willing to listen to each other. If used too early, Thumb Voting can be used by someone to hold the group 'hostage' by using a thumbs down vote to indicate they don't like the plan and they want their own plan put in place.) In most cases, Thumb Voting is a quick way to 'see' who has questions and then answer the questions in a way to help the group move forward. Using our example above, after someone asks a question the plan might change. Then another Thumb Vote is needed to see if everyone is on board, at some level of consensus, before implementing the plan. 
Thumbometer
The Thumbometer tool is used to gauge how much someone liked (or likes) something or how much someone valued (or values) something. After I show my participants what the Thumbometer scale is ("10" is a thumbs up, "0" is thumbs down, and the other numbers in between) here are some questions I might ask using the Thumbometer: On a scale of Zero to 10, 10 being the highest score...
As a way to enhance understanding and group improvement you can follow up with this question: If you're not at a 10, what would you like to see from the group in order to bump your score up one point? We find out where people are at and then determine where they want to go. Thumb Gauges are quick ways you and your group can check in with each other in order to determine next steps. What other Thumb Gauges are out there? Leave us a Comment below. I could use your help spreading the knowledge. If you know someone who could benefit from OnTeamBuilding information, please forward them this email. Thank You! All the best, Chris Cavert, Ed.D.
P.S. Would you like a super-quick update when new OnTeamBuilding content is posted? Just fill out the form below and then click the big blue button. I'll keep you posted.
(About a 15-minute read. This is a migration and updated post. It was first shared at the FUNdoing.com Blog. We are moving theoretical posts to OnTeamBuidling in an effort to organize content. Thanks for being here!)
The following conversation about muting participants was initiated by my friend (and fellow team builder), Floyd. He is a deep thinker so I love picking his brain.
Floyd: I'd like to take some time and delve deeper into a topic I've been thinking about and see if I can't get some thoughts from more experienced folks I trust and respect. It is about muting people who speak the most or the loudest in a community. If you are up to it, I would love to get your input. Often when I see facilitators muting individuals it is with hope that the people who don't speak up as much will have their voices heard by the folks that talk a lot, and the ones who talk a lot will develop skills in listening and communicating in new ways. Do you have thoughts on this topic, or ways you have used it as a tool?
Chris: Thanks for reaching out Floyd! First, I agree with your initial assertion. I too believe, in most cases, people are muted by the facilitator with the "hope that the people who don't speak up as much will have their voices heard by folks that talk a lot." (I wonder, where a group would be if they muted the talk-to-muchers? And what would this look like in a safe environment?)
So, we both agree that the hope is others will speak up. Now, as we ultimately find out, muting someone (or more than someone), does not guarantee others will speak up. (We could start with the whole extrovert/introvert dynamics here as just one reason why.) So, as an educative practice, it's not the best tool to use to get others to speak up more. However, when you are newer to facilitation muting can be an introductory tool. And, you never know. I'm sure there are success stories after implementing the basic mute. To this day, I still threaten to mute when it seems like a "heads up" might nudge the group (or particular person) into a way of behaving (e.g., listening more). I will say something like this: "You know Steve, I noticing the muting bees have started circling you. They are attracted to a lot of sentences strung together by one person. If you happened to get stung by one of these bees I'll let you know. The bee toxin will swell up your vocal cords for a certain amount of time. I would hate for this to happen - just wanted you to know."
Most of the time this light-hearted information gets the point across in that moment.
Let's go to the second assertion you mentioned, "...and the ones who talk a lot will develop skills in listening and communicating in new ways." Here's my reaction to this. If someone is talking so much that you must mute them so that others in the group can get some space to talk, it is "inconceivable" (to quote my favorite movie) that this person will make the leap to changing their behavior to be a better listener or communicator. It is more likely, when muted (if they stay muted) that they are simply formulating and rehearsing what they will say when they get the chance to talk again. Now, my response (after some thinking) to this assertion. If a facilitator uses the muting tool, on purpose, to encourage better listening and better communication behaviors it would be educationally prudent to frontload the expectation. Here's what I would say: "If I end up muting you during the activity, meaning you cannot talk, it does not mean you did anything wrong. It simply means I would like you to turn on your listening behaviors and soak up the information that fills the room while you're muted. Combine the information you hear with the information you have in your head about the situation. Blend this up and see what you get. When you are ready to jump in and verbally share with the group again, go right ahead." I see this way of muting as specifically inviting someone to experience a particular behavior - listening - at a specific time. Also, when I use this tool I don't use it only with the over-talkers. I use it with different people over a progression of activities. Then, we have another talking point to bring up during the processing experience. "What was it like for you going into listening mode after I muted you? Was there any benefit to you or the group when you went into listening mode?" Why do I mute in this way? When I share my process and say you have done nothing wrong, it (tends) to reduce the defensiveness from participants. They are not embarrassed after being muted (in most cases!) it is simply a part of the experience. The group knows someone in the group is practicing a particular behavior and are often very supportive. As an educator, I want to encourage (and sometimes require) a certain behavior, letting the student practice to see how it works for them.
Floyd: Thanks for getting back to me Chris! First, to answer some of your questions, I am a long-time user (abuser) of the mute tool. A few years ago, however, I was placed in a position in a group where I was the only one not muted. This was a facilitator training at a course in the Midwest I had no experience with, but training as a contractor. The lead facilitator knew I had a lot of facilitation experience. The rest of the community I was working with knew each other (worked together in a residential treatment facility), but were unaware of my experience. As the day progressed, I realized that the lead was using a lot of "one right answer" methods and activities but, instead of encouraging an answer collaboratively devised by the community, he kept looking for me to "speak up" and solve the challenge. Finally as the group was working to come up with [their] answer to an activity, he muted everyone except me and expected that I would then bring the group to a good answer. This on-the-spot feeling has since then challenged my philosophy on its use.
Currently I use muting in a general way. I offer it as the consequence for stepping in the muting river, or as the theme of one of the islands on a triangle tension traverse, or use a half-blind half-mute twist to a challenge adding some unique dynamics. I have, however, stopped using muting on the loud ones. My hope with discontinuing the practice is that I can come up with something that offers groups some tools when they leave. I have come close to something I like, but it certainly needs to be refined. That is, I use an activity as a sort of pathways or grid. We get to the initiative and I will introduce safety concerns that must be addressed during the challenge, but it is up to the group to figure out how to complete the challenge, and by the end, they know all or as many of the rules of the activity as they can figure out. As they experiment with things I will let them know when they have done something outside of the rules of play. So far I have had some good success with this and have noticed that the [talkers] might start out speaking loudly, but when the rules are nothing like they expected, they have to rely on listening to other people for ideas to experiment with, and as the community starts running out of solutions they then find themselves asking the quiet ones to speak up. As an introvert myself, I’ve noticed this invitation from my peers is often what motivates us [me] to share ideas. These ideas might still not be the solution, but everyone sharing and being heard, and everyone experimenting with ideas always gets people further. Again, needs to be refined, but something I am using in place of the mute. Much more to the point, I stopped using the mute because I feel communities are performing at a level they reached through storming and norming in their every-day environment in one way or another. When I mute a person I feel like your description is exactly what happens. That person is not likely to spend time listening (if they stay muted at all), but instead, will be trying to figure out what to say when they get a chance, or how to communicate their idea above all else happening in the group anyway. When they go back to their community environment, the loud ones will continue to be loud and heard, the ones with perceived power will continue to have the perceived power, and the quiet ones will continue to keep their ideas to themselves.
This takes me back to my years working with kids. We would take kids out of the pool to teach them lessons about behaving in the pool. In my experience, I have not seen either strategy work. It is not my responsibility as an educator to remove the challenges or to remove members from the challenge while I'm working with communities. My responsibility is to help the community identify problem areas occurring in their community, and then work with them to come up with actionable solutions they can use back in their own environment.
I agree with you that muting can be a tool for new educators. My hope for these types of tools for facilitators is just as everything with facilitation; That they will be considered often, and from other points of view. (Today I may not like using the mute, but in conversations with others I am shown that it is a useful tool when we know why and how to use it). I used to work with a fellow that challenged me daily to know why I did what I did, how it affected the group, if the group walked away with the outcomes they were looking for and then some, and to find new ways to interact with groups and initiatives. This has been paramount to my growth as a facilitator. While I know this is the environment with many experiential programs, I know, and have worked in those situations, where those early tools just become the rule, and no one really knows why. I like your ideas about offering muting and listening as tools to the group. I want to write "LISTEN" on a polyspot, and frontload it at the beginning of the day: "If anyone is feeling like they are talking too much, or if anyone has been unable to hear the rest of the community, you are welcome to stand on this LISTENING spot for as long as it takes to reach the goal you are looking for. If, as a member of this community, you need to support someone else by encouraging them to use the listening spot for some reason, please feel free to offer this resource."
Likewise, if someone is feeling like they aren't being heard, or feel like someone's idea isn't being heard, this spot can be used here as well. The person can use the resource as a way of getting the attention of the group to share their ideas. While in the experience you can then process through why a community would need such a resource, and what this resource could look like back in the community environment. Man, I really like the LISTENING spot! I can see so many opportunities for communities to take advantage of this.
I fear I have grown long winded here, and running all these sentences together may be causing the muting bees to get to buzzing! Thanks again for your time!
(Chris here...) What a journey! Floyd loves to build dendrites. Where do you sit with the idea of muting? How have your experiences been with this tool? Leave us a Comment below.
All the best, Chris & Floyd Podcast Listeners, interested in the topic of consequences? Check out Using Consequences During Team Building Activities at the "Ask Michelle & Chris About Team Building" podcast. Want to build more dendrites with Floyd, listen to my OnTeamBuilding Podcast Interview with Floyd.
P.S. Would you like a super-quick update when new OnTeamBuilding content is posted? Just fill out the form below and then click the big blue button. I'll keep you posted.
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OTB FacilitatorDr. Chris Cavert is an educator, author and trainer. His passion is helping team builders learn and grow. Archives
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